Husband s sex chat and family law
” She might still be grieving the loss of her marriage while he’s moved on.
It’s nearly impossible for her to have good feelings towards you when she’s still processing – or in denial of – the loss of her family. You actually did something worthy of her negative feelings: Are you consciously or subconsciously trying to make her look like a bad mom?
Countless stepmoms can’t understand why their partner’s ex refuses to acknowledge them or treat them with basic human decency.
They continually ask “Why does my husband’s ex-wife hate me?
I am currently on step four and am finding it to be a struggle, but it is important to me so I am not giving up even though sometimes I feel tempted to.
Fortunately my sponsor is there to talk to me when I am feeling overwhelmed.
When sex addicts are in early recovery, their wives (if they have chosen to stay in the marriage) live in fear. Your wife learned early on that she “didn’t cause it, can’t change it, and can’t control it.” So where’s the balance? Does that mean you can’t focus on your marriage at the same time? I’ve seen it happen enough to know it is possible, even in the direst of circumstances.
If you are one of those who is taking recovery seriously you have probably received guidance from many individuals: therapists, sponsors, coaches, books, meetings, etc. It is important to remember that those who are there to help you through your personal recovery are not often marriage experts and some of their well-meaning marriage advice may hurt more than help. By putting your recovery first you are doing what is best for her. Ignore all advice that sounds anything like what I mentioned above–that “her side of the street” stuff. So, how do you let your wife in while respecting the anonymity of the group, while being able to feel safe in your counseling sessions without having to worry about having to go back and report everything that was said? Give her so much information that she doesn’t have to ask.
Are you trying to prove to your husband that you’re a better wife than she was?
Are you trying to make your stepkids love you more than they love her? Do you want the school faculty, PTA or your neighborhood moms to think you’re a better caretaker than she is? You’re going to have to be honest with yourself to see how you might be contributing to the high-conflict dynamic.
In a minute I’ll explain what she doesn’t need to know.
Hopefully that will help both you and her to have more productive conversations.
But at the same time, she doesn’t necessarily want to meet you. It can be painful to see the man you think treated you so poorly, treating another women like a princess.